Doctor: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news?

I didn’t want to believe it when my Dad got sacked for stealing from his job working on the roads.

But when i went round to his house, all the signs were there.

My dad was a paramedic, and he told me about an addict who couldn't find anything else in the house so he mixed up some curry powder and injected himself. Suddenly his veins were on fire and he was writhing and screaming on the floor so his wife called for an ambulance and he was taken to hospital.

She phoned the next day to see how he was and the nurse said he was in a korma.

Or the man they took to hospital with a vacuum cleaner hose inserted in his rectum. His wife called the next day to see how he was doing and the nurse said he was picking up nicely.

Or the man they took to hospital with a potato inserted in his rectum. This unfortunately wasn't a joke, as I sat there waiting for the punchline only to discover there wasn't one........my dad did say when they turned him over at the emergency department they told the charge nurse they'd brought her some chips lol